Have you ever been in situations where you thought you knew something, and then suddenly realized that you had thought wrong?
Too often in life, we end up playing different roles. Its like we have written special character sketches like we see in the movies.
Imagine writing out a character sketch for ourselves and then conducting our life according to that ! What would yours look like ?
Some standard proclamations I have heard are –
I don’t show emotions easily.
I don’t get too close to people.
I am the kind of person who only learns from my own experiences.
I cannot take advice from people.
I don’t make friends quickly.
I don’t trust easily.
I cannot be without friends.
I hate XXXXXX
I love XXXXX
I know myself well, This is how I do it.
No one can talk me out of a decision I have made.
This is how I express my anger
When I am mad at someone, I typically write them off my life..etc
How intricately we weave such characters and strive to live faithfully and religiously according to it.
What is your own character sketch ? To know that, make a list of sentences that you would use to describe yourself, your character, your relationships, your attitudes to life, your assumptions about people, places, things etc.
When holding onto these roles too close, we are limiting ourselves from discovering other roles we are capable of stepping into. We confine ourselves by what we know.
Notice how holding on to these roles so tightly, prevent us from experiencing new life experiences, and stop us from evolving. Its always good to notice where in our life, we might be doing this a bit more, where our characters are very prominent, probably related to our attitude towards life, our work, or your relationship patterns with certain people.
We took on these roles for various reasons, probably as a shield or mask, to protect us from uncomfortable situations at some point in our past and they probably served us well at that point. We probably just grew into it, slowly but surely, even though they stopped serving us anymore.
What if we shed these roles ? Let go of all these descriptions of who we are how how we function ? Imagine the many interesting roles we could play in our life, if we weren’t attached to holding on tightly to certain specific roles. The fear we face is more about losing who we imagine we are. than anything else, Let go of all that !
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Relax! Life is good, as long you let it flow through you. When being told a hard truth, take it at face value. Take a hard took at yourself, but don’t be hard on yourself. Be gracious enough to accept the reality of it, and learn from it.
Adopt an adventurous perceptive, What if we tried that, what if we listened to an advice, that is different from our perspective or different from our character sketch of how things should be, what if we dint believe that our identity was at stake? Hw different would our life be then?
We might surprise ourselves by discovering new parts of ourselves. Honestly, i do not think we will ever get rid of roles in our lives. As we will keep stepping into new roles, we also let of old ones. And the best way check if we are on the right track it to ask ourselves, is this role helping me step into who I am, do I feel empowered by this role, then go ahead and hold on to it. You are here for a reason.
Let’s other views in, especially the ones that are radically different from our own. Try them on for size. Who knows we might even like it. If not, we might discover something new.Try out different perspectives of looking at things. GROW, EXPLORE … LIVE !