Have you ever asked yourself why you face some specific challenges over and over again, tripping over the same stone? Why does something hit you over and over again that you feel battered, beaten and cannot take it anymore? And if that weren’t enough, you go into a ‘poor me’ mode feeling sorry for yourself. Or even step into the “entitlement box” where you believe you deserve so much more from life, people and circumstances. Or you think that you have been dealt the same lousy set of cards, feeling enough is enough, and you cannot take it anymore?
If so, welcome to the CLUB! I have been here many times that I am now quite a familiar figure here They even considered giving me a lifetime membership at one point as I was one of their frequent members in the early days, but I politely declined as I didn’t want to get too comfortable. Even now there are those special occasions where I will show my face at the club, just to make sure they haven’t forgotten me. (it helps to add a humorous spin to things :-))
The next time you are wondering why you’ve been going around the same loop for long, do remind yourself of this quote.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”― Henry Ford
I believe that life hands us lessons in the form of life circumstances or challenges we face in our day to day life. And as we work through these lessons; we move towards newer ones.We don’t all necessary do the same lessons, we each have different starting points but nevertheless they are lessons given to us to work on.
The good news is that we don’t have a teacher grading us or waiting to see if we have finished our work. It’s a self-study program. So we are liberty to skip some chapters that we find, tedious or challenging and move along towards easier and quicker ones.
The bad news is that cannot copy notes from anyone or have someone else do our work for us. Neither can we give an excuse that the dog ate our homework. Any lessons we have skipped will come back to us in the form of new challenges, possibly even harder ones, forcing us to work through before we find peace.
The good news is that we are not alone, we can always get help, we have access to teachers and masters, and get pointers from others who seem to have completed these lessons. And it is enormous motivation just to know that people just like us have found their way around the hard lessons or even harder ones, so there is hope.We are not working on the impossible.
The bad news is that some lessons are pretty challenging, and it will take a toll on us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but if we stick through the hardest bits, we will see the value of it eventually. One guiding question is to ask ourselves, “What am I supposed to learn from this that will ease my suffering?. Sometimes even when we think we have completed the work, life will throw us a few more challenges that will throw us off guard.
The good news is we repeat some lessons again just to make sure have crossed the t’s and dotted the i’s. Its only small test so that we can evaluate how thorough we are in our work. The better news is that the lessons we learn are tailor-made individually for each of us so that we can shed some old unwanted layers and polish our souls a little more every time. How lucky are we! I am not trying to throw an optimist spin on things, and this is not some utopian philosophy. I do believe it and have had the experience of it with many situations in life.
Some of my challenges were around fear, anxiety, death, loss and perfection. Or should I say that the most prominent lessons I did were on the topics mentioned above? Sure enough, I have worked through many challenging experiences, as I lost many loved ones to death and other reasons, I have had to come face to face with my fears, and also my obsession with perfection. Honestly, I don’t know how far along I am with the chapters, but I would like to believe that I am now at the level crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s.
When I find that I am stuck I ask myself these questions:
What am I afraid of?
What would I do, or how would I handle this if I wasn’t scared?
What action can I take to be at integrity with myself?
When I am ready to listen to the answers and choose act on them, they always guide me home.
Some tips from a fellow student, as you navigate through your lessons:-
Show up and do your work.
Ask for help; there is enough help to go around.
Try not to take the easy way out as it will most definitely turn out to be a long way out.
Don’t let your mind play tricks on you, convincing you to give up.
Be open to the learning
Go easy on yourself – Be kind to yourself
And finally, remember, at every point, you have a choice, you can always begin again!
At the end of it, it not like passing through different levels of a game to get to the BUMPER PRIZE. Our prize is in developing fluidity towards life, going with the flow, surrendering to what is, and having the tenacity, grace to live through it all and most of all being at integrity with ourselves.
Life & Relationship Coach (CPCC)
January 3, 2018